Let it stop with you!
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
According to the Oxford Language Definition, Gossip is a casual or unconstrained conversation about other people involving details that are not confirmed as being true. i.e may be true and may not be.
Gossiping can include negative, positive or neutral conversation; it is not always negative as opposed to Slandering which involves sharing false information about someone.
So at one point or the other you have gossiped about someone because you talking about a person’s personal information in their absence, whether positive or negative is you gossiping about them but most times the negative gossip takes the dominating part; we rarely talk good about people and what they are doing so the term gossip has generally been seen as a negative thing.
It isn’t necessarily negative, so for the sake of what gossip really is I will be using the term negative gossip to describe the part of gossip I want to delve into- You talking about people and peddling the rumour that you didn’t even confirm whether they are true or not and if they are true, I am here to tell you that they are none of your business and you should stop that bad habit.
If you will ever talk about someone let it be that you are saying the great things the person has done, making people see the good in them and if there is a bad you don’t like, it is better to sit the person down and talk to them about it and pray for them than peddling the works about them making it a rumour spreading like wild fire.
The conversation about others will never be an interesting one no matter how interesting it might be at that moment because when they hear about it and it backfires, you will loose your peace, you will lose relationships, it’s not worth it. The thing you fail to understand is that you could have been the one in the person’s shoes or you could have made the mistake the person made, would you like to be a victim of a negative gossip?
Negative gossip is as harmful to the peddler as it is to the person been spoken about.
Some people gossip just to feel important in a group to be the “gist bringers”, you need to check yourself and where your priorities lie.
You say you don’t like to gossip negatively about another but you go ahead to do it anyways.
The thing is the rumour will always reach the ear of the person been spoken of one way or another,
The friend you told not to tell anyone, will tell another acquaintance the same and there it goes; the gist all over the block.
I have been at both sides of the coin and I can say that none is sweet to be in- been spoken about and hearing or talking about another; I become scared that the person doesn’t hear about it, sometimes I would try to persuade myself that I was just informing the person I am talking to out of my own hurt or because what the person did was true but what if I was sowing a seed of discord in the heart of the third party?
How do you stop negative gossip when it reaches your side?
Ask why the person is telling you. This makes it obvious that you are not interested in the topic and puts them off. Tell the peddler to go discuss the issue with the person he/she is talking about. They will feel bad about you calling them out but make them see that talking about it doesn’t help the person they are talking about and it’s best to find a solution if need be or just stop the talk as you should help the person and not tear down the person.
Change the topic to a good part about the person or make it an opportunity for them to pray for the person. Prayer is more helpful that gossip.
Without wood a fire goes out;
without a gossip a quarrel dies down.” Proverbs 26:20 NIV
And if you have heard it, resist the urge to talk about it with anyone, talk to the person involved from a neutral place if it is something that you can talk to the person about. Maybe a character they need to drop that you have been hearing about, just use wisdom to make the person see it and work on it without bringing the rumour and the peddler to the notice of the person.
James says that your religion is worthless if you don’t have a tight reign on your tongue.
James 1:26
Be and advocate for the person been spoken of, stand up for the person and put a stop to the conversation even before it starts…
Watch your words, tame your tongue and guard your heart!
Matthew 12:36
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.
Why is negative gossip bad?
1. It sows distrust in people: if you talk to me about someone in a very bad light, I will not trust you not to talk about me to be very sincere. Or I hear you talk about someone around where I am, I will run from you.
Proverbs 20:19
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.
Proverbs 11:13
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered
2. It harms relationships
3. It ruins the reputation of others: You spoil people in the face of others. Rumours whether true or not have made people lose face in front of people that respected them, and even made people lose jobs…
Gossip is like a fire bullet,
Once you hear it,
You can’t run away from it.
I have heard things before that when I confirmed, I found out that they were not true, I really felt bad because not everyone would have made their findings like I did which could have spoilt the person to me and damaged the relationship I had with the person… I have likewise heard rumours about myself that broke my heart till I started learning to move past what people say because they will never stop talking but we should not be the peddlers of rumours and the cause of someone feeling bad.
Proverbs 6:16-19 mentioned 6 things that God hates and one of it is someone who sows seed of discord among brothers, what we do not know in the heat of the gist is that we are sowing a seed of discord when we gossip about someone negatively to others, the other person begins to see the person in the light of what you said and might not be able to handle what he or she heard well.
I pray deeply that the Lord help us!🙏
From Abba To Me 